Posts Tagged ‘self’

Twisted Fate

Posted: November 5, 2017 in Book reviews, Novels
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The FINAL version of Twisted Fate will be downloaded for update on kindle within 2 months. Now reworking Waking Up Vampire. I’ve read and reread all reviews and will be applying fixes clearing up grammatical errors and confusing events. Waking Up Vampire was the first step into this amazing journey of writing fantasy. Except, most of the issues faced by the main character are real and I–at the beginning– hadn’t acknowledged I had a problem. I thought everyone had a difficult childhood–right? Well, after the first draft hit the printer and I began the editing process, memories I’d repressed made me realize that the guarded soul I’d become as an adult was just trying to protect the little girl inside me who’d been victimized. I probably went through thirty rewrites before finally finding comfort in the most recent version. And here I am again doing the new perception review and finding I’ve grown some more. Time for another rewrite. It won’t change much because the events are the same, but I have a new and better understanding of my journey and I dearly want to express it to you. So Waking Up Vampire will be coming to you in a better updated and final version in the near future.

Bear with me.

Life is hard, but we’re all works in progress and we all get tripped up. I have come to a conclusion with Waking Up Vampire-The sequel. I found the best ending to that story both appeases the characters and my sane mind. I haven’t titled it yet. The present mind is always easier to puzzle out than that of the child I’d been. So. With that said, I do have many more stories and characters waiting on the back burner ready to be fleshed out and sent on their way into my crazy worlds.

I will let you know when I’ve updated Twisted fate on Kindle. Thank you and Peace.FINAL TW.F.

What makes a person follow an entity who leads them onto the path of misery? Why do mothers and fathers choose to worship a god that puts its values before the love of family? Sounds more human than divine. Nature vs nurture. Experience vs command. Is there a line you won’t cross or will you die alone because that’s what’s been written. Religions have many personalities. I say personality because there are as many religious beliefs as there are humans. And those who don’t believe are included in the protein rich, spice riddled salad.

But let’s cut to the foundation of religious beliefs. You will only believe what you already accept as true. If you were abused and debased as a kid–authority is your enemy. If ten apologies after ten beatings keeps you in love and in place, bullies need to be understood. If you have been taught that wealth and entitlement makes you smarter and everyone else stupid, you will run a country as if the rest of us should be grateful for presence despite your lack of empathy and compassion or knowing what it’s like to struggle. It’s easier for some to discard their own ideas than to make a case for their own identity. It’s too much work. And it’s not like they’re alone in their beliefs. There’ll always be someone who validates them. Same mentality. Thinking–not worth the effort. The mob mentality.

People kill for their religions. People kill at the instruction of the voices in their heads. People kill because some ignorant human thinks the best way to run a country is to create a symbolic enemy. All religions have blood soaked into the pages of their books of scripture. Blood. Money. Power. Maybe at one time, there was a religion that took our need to dance naked in the rain as an expression of peace, or encouraged loved between adults, who promoted the health and happiness of children. I–for one–would love to read that book.

You can lay bigotry, hatred, racism, open condemnation at your god’s feet, blame it on your disgust of the world around you. But guess what? The rest of us see through the divine veil you place over your heads. We know you are hate. And in the end Love will defeat you. And We won’t have to lift a finger to win.

Sometimes I turn to pain for comfort, darkness to cleanse and numbness to escape it all. And then I fall.      Panic sets in.        I reach for the closest heart and fall faster.    There’s no room for laughter when tears fall and the life lived fades into the past. Looking forward through a pane of foggy glass.   I capturing glimpses of what could be, at the moment, because a breath changes everything.    His hand. Her shoulder. The innocence of a child. Fury and blood. What does it all mean? He kills. She kills. One a hero. The other a villain. Which is which? Do we know the difference anymore? My life is my reach, my sight, what I hear, who I touch. Not always good. Not perfect. My goal is simple. To make progress.

I think of you… sometimes when I’m lost

Wandering in the haze you created for me so long ago

We’re in the same room, but hearts apart

I believed you… in you

Until you proved me wrong.

Showed me your blood wasn’t strong

I asked you

Eye to eye who are you?

You lied.

I knew that was your reality

But I believed you…in you

Why not?

You said the words I wanted to be true

I thought of you the other day

Feeling sad

Surrounded by love

Two roles not filled

One by choice

The other…

I think of you…sometimes when I’m wandering

In the same room where your heart beats silent

Hoping one day you prove me right

To believe in yourself

Make that your reality

Why not?

It’s better to be surrounded by love

I’m not wrong

Fire, wind, water, earth and us

Coming at you like a natural disaster

You don’t want to fight

You don’t want to know

Living in a day dream while the rest of us face the nightmare

We stand dead center in the chaos and confusion

Roaring for humanity

Bloody fingers cling to justice

Broken dreams washed away by tears

Screaming to be free

We prepare for the war you ignore

You don’t want to fight

You don’t want to know

Living in a day dream while the rest of us face the nightmare

We won’t let us fall back into the void

A place where voices die

Where power resides in the telling of a lie

Say Thank You
Say thank you. Say thank you to the women who gave you a voice. Say thank you to the women who were arrested and imprisoned and beaten and gassed for you to have a voice. Say thank you to the women who refused to back down, to the women who fought tirelessly to give you a voice. Say thank you to the women who put their lives on hold, who –lucky for you — did not have “better things to do” than to march and protest and rally for your voice. So you don’t feel like a “second class citizen.” So you get to feel “equal.”
Thank Susan B. Anthony and Alice Paul for your right to vote.
Thank Elizabeth Stanton for your right to work.
Thank Maud Wood Park for your prenatal care and your identity outside of your husband.
Thank Rose Schneiderman for your humane working conditions.
Thank Eleanor Roosevelt and Molly Dewson for your ability to work in politics and affect policy.
Thank Margaret Sanger for your legal birth control.
Thank Carol Downer for your reproductive healthcare rights.
Thank Sarah Muller for your equal education.
Thank Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Shannon Turner, Gloria Steinem, Zelda Kingoff Nordlinger, Rosa Parks, Angela Davis, Malika Saada Saar, Wagatwe Wanjuki, Ida B. Wells, Malala Yousafzai. Thank your mother, your grandmother, your great-grandmother who did not have half of the rights you have now.
You can make your own choices, speak and be heard, vote, work, control your body, defend yourself, defend your family, because of the women who marched. You did nothing to earn those rights. You were born into those rights. You did nothing, but you reap the benefits of women, strong women, women who fought misogyny and pushed through patriarchy and fought for you. And you sit on your pedestal, a pedestal you are fortunate enough to have, and type. A keyboard warrior. A fighter for complacency. An acceptor of what you were given. A denier of facts. Wrapped up in your delusion of equality.
You are not equal. Even if you feel like you are. You still make less than a man for doing the same work. You make less as a CEO, as an athlete, as an actress, as a doctor. You make less in government, in the tech industry, in healthcare.
You still don’t have full rights over your own body. Men are still debating over your uterus. Over your prenatal care. Over your choices.
You still have to pay taxes for your basic sanitary needs.
You still have to carry mace when walking alone at night. You still have to prove to the court why you were drunk on the night you were raped. You still have to justify your behavior when a man forces himself on you.
You still don’t have paid (or even unpaid) maternity leave. You still have to go back to work while your body is broken. While you silently suffer from postpartum depression.
You still have to fight to breastfeed in public. You still have to prove to other women it’s your right to do so. You still offend others with your breasts.
You are still objectified. You are still catcalled. You are still sexualized. You are still told you’re too skinny or you’re too fat. You’re still told you’re too old or too young. You’re applauded when you “age gracefully.” You’re still told men age “better.” You’re still told to dress like a lady. You are still judged on your outfit instead of what’s in your head. What brand bag you have still matters more than your college degree.
You are still being abused by your husband, by your boyfriend. You’re still being murdered by your partners. Being beaten by your soulmate.
You are still worse off if you are a woman of color, a gay woman, a transgender woman. You are still harassed, belittled, dehumanized.
Your daughters are still told they are beautiful before they are told they are smart. Your daughters are still told to behave even though “boys will be boys.” Your daughters are still told boys pull hair or pinch them because they like them.
You are not equal. Your daughters are not equal. You are still systemically oppressed.
Estonia allows parents to take up to three years of leave, fully paid for the first 435 days. United States has no policy requiring maternity leave.
Singapore’s women feel safe walking alone at night. American women do not.
New Zealand’s women have the smallest gender gap in wages, at 5.6%. United States’ pay gap is 20%.
Iceland has the highest number of women CEOs, at 44%. United States is at 4.0%.
The United States ranks at 45 for women’s equality. Behind Rwanda, Cuba, Philippines, Jamaica.
But I get it. You don’t want to admit it. You don’t want to be a victim. You think feminism is a dirty word. You think it’s not classy to fight for equality. You hate the word pussy. Unless of course you use it to call a man who isn’t up to your standard of manhood. You know the type of man that “allows” “his” woman to do whatever she damn well pleases. I get it. You believe feminists are emotional, irrational, unreasonable. Why aren’t women just satisfied with their lives, right? You get what you get and you don’t get upset, right?
I get it. You want to feel empowered. You don’t want to believe you’re oppressed. Because that would mean you are indeed a “second-class citizen.” You don’t want to feel like one. I get it. But don’t worry. I will walk for you. I will walk for your daughter. And your daughter’s daughter. And maybe you will still believe the world did not change. You will believe you’ve always had the rights you have today. And that’s okay. Because women who actually care and support other women don’t care what you think about them. They care about their future and the future of the women who come after them.
Open your eyes. Open them wide. Because I’m here to tell you, along with millions of other women that you are not equal. Our equality is an illusion. A feel-good sleight of hand. A trick of the mind. I’m sorry to tell you, but you are not equal. And neither are your daughters.
But don’t worry. We will walk for you. We will fight for you. We will stand up for you. And one day you will actually be equal, instead of just feeling like you are.
~ Dina Leygerman, 2017

The president has decided, on his first day, to strip people of their healthcare benefits. Why? We are talking twenty million people going without healthcare. Republicans want it repealed, but they are the ones who created the Affordable Healthcare Act, best know as Obamacare. He deleted policies on the LGBT and Environment. What does that mean to our friends and family in a same sex marriage? Will he attack their ability to adopt? Will he destroy years of evolving and put us back into the dark ages where men tell everyone how they should act and who they should be and where they are best placed? A person is best revealed by his or her actions.

Religion has NO place in our government. We are made up of many different faiths, including those who do not have a god. One man cannot tell us when, or where we chould pray, or be or act because his god tells him to. We cannot follow any man that believes a persons sexuality is criminal in a response to the unncontrollable matter of nature.

And what about his supporters? Do they not see what he is doing? How is he making us strong by killing people who need medical care? What about his greatest lie..er um statement about jobs? Why wasn’t his first act as …president, to bring his families manufacturers back to the USA and give thousands of people jobs? Is it to difficult? Not profitable? Well welcome to the reason other companies outsource. I thought he was going to make us “great” again.

And yet his first act is to sign the ACA repeal.

I still want to see his tax reports. I haven’t forgotten about that. And no one else should. I see people who hate Obama post horrible things about his leadership. Most of these people live very comfortably. Have enough money to buy private healthcare and are not affected by anything this man promised. They complain, but I truly wonder what it is they are complaining about? Their nice house? Their substantial bank account? Their ability to do whatever they want, within reason?

How do these people rationalize Trump’s blatant lies? He’s on the news saying that everything he said were campaign tactics. Do you know what that means? Nothing he says can be seen as truth. Talk about two-faced, only he shows both, and laughs. I’m terrified. I really am. Not for me though. My life won’t be affected, but I have two daughters and a son who have many more years on this earth and what this mentally ill man does, may affect them.

I will tell you this…If I die anytime soon….The white house is going to get its first malevolent, pissed off poltergeist. My main focus will be to make Trump go bald and delete all his money. Have to hit him where it really hurts.