Archive for May, 2014

Squirrel Bogarting Pizza!

Dats ah Goood Pizza!!!!!

What did you just SAY!!!!!

Posted: May 20, 2014 in life lessons

What did you just SAY!!!!!.

Anger Kills focus, concentration and character. That’s why we nitpick at our loved ones, nag our partners or internally self-destruct trying to hide from the chaos our emotions have caused in our world.  Want to know a secret? Feeling anger is a choice. Acting on anger is a choice. It’s all about how we perceive ourselves. Think about it. Confident people do not get angry. They can still be wrong, but believing in who they are, what they stand for, and their self-value keeps them from diving into the carnage of self-dissection.  

Most of the time anger comes from within. It is very rarely caused by an outside attack. What hurts the most comes from within.  For instance, if your self-esteem is scraping bottom and you think you’re not smart…a simple comment about a classification of intelligence from an ignorant person can trigger the beat-yourself-up anger. And then what? Who suffers the consequences…besides yourself? The person you love the most. The person you feel most safe with. The one person who knows your true value, ends up defending themselves against someone else’s, dare I say it? Un-called for, spoken without thinking, comment?

I have just begun to master the turbulent emotion we call anger. I started with silencing my bad thoughts, knowing the true answer to my issue had nothing to do with what was said or done, but what “I” took from it. I had to stop my partner from helping me until I had complete control over the heat searing my most inner thoughts. Sometimes it takes days of silence contemplation, but when I am ready and haven’t revealed the source of my pain, I let my partner in to help, because by then, I am fully aware that the answer is inside me. I’m still a work in progress, but I can truly say I am happier every single day that I unfold the secrets hidden inside me. They just make me…me and the more I learn the more peace I feel.

one difficult morning amongst many…..

Another difficult morning of complaints, “I don’t feel well.” In-between smiles and conversation we have about the wildlife program that is currently on TV.  Why is the tv on? You ask… well I need something to gauge the real reason for not wanting to go to school. My son, whom I adore, has anxiety issues. They’re not just with school. He suffers every time he knows he has to leave the house.

The panic attacks didn’t start over night, but increased significantly after two close family members passed away. One happened quite unexpectedly. Me, his mom, having cancer when he was 4 is what I believe could have triggered it in the first place. I also believe this is a challenge in this lifetime that he has yet to overcome in previous, but no matter the reason or cause, I am determined to get him through it. I’m lucky that he is only thirteen. I have some flexibility, but soon that gap will close when he enters ninth grade.

I don’t know how to get him to see what is really happening. His aches and pain are real because his fear triggers his stomach to hurt. He accuses me of not believing him. I do believe him but the only way to help him is to not feed into it. He is seeing a couple of specialists and I rely on their advice since my husband and I are at our wits end.

It is very fortunate that I have a partner in all of this. We do our best to give the other some breathing space in-between the battles, and battles they have become. The school is also on our side and has worked with us since the beginning. In two months we shall know if our efforts have paid off. A long two months they shall be. All I know is that I am doing this out of love. I’m not giving in. I’m fighting for my son’s quality of life and that keeps me strong and motivated. He’s truly an amazing kid. He’s kind and respectful, smart and witty. He is going to be an amazing adult. I will not let fear take my baby’s future away.  

Mother’s Day

Posted: May 11, 2014 in Uncategorized

Mother's Day.

Mother’s Day

Posted: May 11, 2014 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , ,

Happy mother’s day to all those wonderful women out there who dedicate their lives to safety, guidance, patience, endearments, and most of all unconditional love to not only their children but all those beautiful souls around them. Tomorrow may be our day, but it is only a flare in the sky to what we do and will continue to do for the rest of this lifetime. I salute you all!