Mel Evers wonders about it all

This is not a religious post.

Most of our life lessons happen because we engage with other people. Some lessons are dropped on our thick heads, but the hard-to-stomach revelations happen when we step back, take inventory of what is happening in our lives, and ask Why?

The sad truth is we push our needs aside in an “attempt” to show people how we want to be treated. And that is what puts us in ruin. Worst case scenario, we spend decades trying to get someone to treat us with the respect you’ve shown them for the same amount.

We ignore treating others as we wish to be treated, a common sense rule, by doing unto them what we want, but in turn, getting disrespected back. All along, they showed us how they wanted to be treated by accepting good treatment by giving little back.

At first, you feel like a hero. You’ve heard their sob stories, jumped on their side against whoever hurt them, and willingly accepted their failures. Why? Because you were raised to accept hardship, believe in honesty, and give second chances. But to what end?

All of us have fallen for a sob story. How long after a failed rescue do you feel guilty for wanting to move on? What happens when guilt becomes part of the rescue? It will happen. After years of putting someone you love first and placing your aspirations on hold, the “victim” will do something that reveals, absolutely, their true selves, they may or may not have anything to do with their past. What do we do then?

Some of us will break, scream, and eventually walk away and spend time learning why we allowed this to happen to us.

Others will allow years of their lives to pass, hoping things will change. Threats and misery will continue for as long as they allow.

Some die miserably.

Some get out and find true happiness.

It’s all up to us.

I treat others the way I wish to be treated, but I won’t stand by allowing others to use my kindness and generosity against me. And no, I won’t lower myself and go against what I believe by treating them the way they treated me.

That’s not me.

It’s hard to walk away from someone you care about. Someone you’ve invested in so much time, energy, and emotion. I find it’s kinder to walk away than stay and make two lives miserable. More than two lives because misery is a parasite.

Be kind to yourself. Rescue comes from within. You can get help but the hardest of the work must be our burden, alone.