A Vicious But Obvious Cycle

Posted: September 10, 2022 in life lessons, ME
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The only secrets kept are those we hide inside our minds. The universe shows us the truth in bright bold colors and blaring sounds. For most of us, these cannot be ignored. But for some, ignorance is a lifeline.

Hitler showed us the truth of true evil humans are capable of unleashing. Murder by the millions. Torturous experimentations on children. Recorded the stages of famine, poison, and hopelessness on the human body and mind.

And we didn’t learn.

There are gods people worship blindly who are as just like Hitler. Hypocritical teachings that cause hate and divisions. Not truth but beliefs that infuse people with righteous and violent entitlements.

We aren’t learning.

Now, we have a criminal party vying for positions in what we call the strongest country on the globe. Whose policies are spoken not created? “Pro-life” in reality is Pro-control. Pro-guns = pro-death. The law for one is not the law for the rest. Proven lies Ted Cruz’s accusations about another state’s leader while his constituents were freezing to death, he escaped to a warm climate. Rubio made light of serious charges knowing he would be in jail if he’d stolen classified information.

Humans destroying the earth. The one solid notion of a divine entity that gives us everything we need to live is sick because we are gluttonous. The frog and the scorpion.

Will we ever learn or is our future and society’s future destined to fail because the willful ignorant have given the power to another Hitler?

Love Never Dies

Posted: March 6, 2019 in Uncategorized
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My grand daughter called upon me for advice. So here it is…Continue to be you. Don’t let anyone…including your mother cause doubt in the direction you’ve chosen. You’re a smart girl. She raised you to be smart, tough and confident. You know what you need, she will guide, but remember, she’s over-protective. On earth, our abilities often are muddled by great emotion and connection. We are best at speaking to those who are emotion-neutral. You’ve got this kiddo.

I didn’t get to meet my Grand daughter on earth, but I see her everyday, persevering in the life she chose. I missed her birth. Unfortunately, I passed forward five months before her grand entrance on earth. She is just one of my eight grand children from my last life. Oh, Georgie… I love my furry grandchildren, too.

A lot of pain followed me leaving. I’m sorry I had to go. I want my children to know that they’ve made me proud. It’s a little crazy where I am. You think the unknown is scary? Try dealing with full disclosure. You all grown and raising those beautiful children makes for a daily party and brag fest with the millions of other souls here. As you probably know, me and my sister are the loudest. I love you! Enjoy the life you live. I will see you all again one day!

Walk One Day In My Shoes

Posted: March 20, 2023 in Uncategorized
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Walk a day in my shoes

They’re old and worn

and sometimes pushed aside or go unseen

See life through my eyes

passed the dysfunction and sound times balanced on top of an emotion

that occasionally temper my judgments or make me look like a fool

I hold out my hand in peace

You are you, and I am me

Because we both know there is no other true way to be

Do Unto Others… The Dark Side Of Good

Posted: March 16, 2023 in ME, Uncategorized
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This is not a religious post.

Most of our life lessons happen because we engage with other people. Some lessons are dropped on our thick heads, but the hard-to-stomach revelations happen when we step back, take inventory of what is happening in our lives, and ask Why?

The sad truth is we push our needs aside in an “attempt” to show people how we want to be treated. And that is what puts us in ruin. Worst case scenario, we spend decades trying to get someone to treat us with the respect you’ve shown them for the same amount.

We ignore treating others as we wish to be treated, a common sense rule, by doing unto them what we want, but in turn, getting disrespected back. All along, they showed us how they wanted to be treated by accepting good treatment by giving little back.

At first, you feel like a hero. You’ve heard their sob stories, jumped on their side against whoever hurt them, and willingly accepted their failures. Why? Because you were raised to accept hardship, believe in honesty, and give second chances. But to what end?

All of us have fallen for a sob story. How long after a failed rescue do you feel guilty for wanting to move on? What happens when guilt becomes part of the rescue? It will happen. After years of putting someone you love first and placing your aspirations on hold, the “victim” will do something that reveals, absolutely, their true selves, they may or may not have anything to do with their past. What do we do then?

Some of us will break, scream, and eventually walk away and spend time learning why we allowed this to happen to us.

Others will allow years of their lives to pass, hoping things will change. Threats and misery will continue for as long as they allow.

Some die miserably.

Some get out and find true happiness.

It’s all up to us.

I treat others the way I wish to be treated, but I won’t stand by allowing others to use my kindness and generosity against me. And no, I won’t lower myself and go against what I believe by treating them the way they treated me.

That’s not me.

It’s hard to walk away from someone you care about. Someone you’ve invested in so much time, energy, and emotion. I find it’s kinder to walk away than stay and make two lives miserable. More than two lives because misery is a parasite.

Be kind to yourself. Rescue comes from within. You can get help but the hardest of the work must be our burden, alone.

Hard To Fool Easy to Manipulate

Posted: October 29, 2022 in Uncategorized
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I can’t say this enough, choices matter. Past actions matter, especially the misinformed, they are repeated. It all comes down to consequence. For example, a man abandons his child. His excuses, “The mother’s a bitch.” “The mother wants too much money.” “She’s crazy and her family’s crazy.” “The mother uses child visitation to extort money.” And in the end, the entirety of his family abandons their niece/nephew/grandchild at the word of the father. BUT it’s a good sob story to draw the next woman into his toxic drama. How do I come to this conclusion? After all the excuses are made, complaints are reported, and crocodile tears from the “loss” of this child, does he send money to help their child? Gifts to show he cares. It’s simple logic. And yes, this is one of my greatest pet peeves!! And I believe has the great ability to destroy a child’s mental health. Eventually these children grow up, mature, and learn the truth. Their choices from then on are more than likely to be based on abandonment.

So…

We are shackled to consequences despite the violent tantrums we throw to unhitch them. Defending is enabling. No matter who you are, you’re responsible for the decisions that cause harm to others and yourself. Blaming others gives these people a free pass to do it again.

Harm through intention is deliberate if help is not sought out. I was raised by a parent who hurt rather than healed. His self-destructive actions screamed for help. I heard his screams at a young age. Rather than help, he sought more pain and therefore became a skilled liar and gambler of excuses. Through my fifty-plus years—and though I haven’t heard them all—I can usually sense a fabricated excuse within a single rationalization. In other words, I can tell when someone is defending the indefensible. You can sense a lie, too. If the excuses exceed one…he truth is not one of them.

I’ve learned to listen. My father trained my mind to notice red flag statements said off the cuff. Some comments strike my heart because they come from people I love. Those stuck.

Lies and misinformation are everywhere these days. People want to be more critical than professional. They speak the truth here and there, but ultimately what they tell you is what they believe, even going so far as to fabricate pictures, reports, and/or government files to convince you. And those who have come to respect these storytellers, no longer check the facts.

I come back to excuses now because that’s what you will hear amongst the preaching, the lies, and the emotional plea for understanding pain. I understand pain. I also know it’s not right to add your pain to others. Or to qualify your beliefs with people who claim to be experts without the required education and experience, or claim to have excuses as to why this or that horrible thing happened. I’m not interested in those who pretend to know secrets, deep-state bullshit, or information that came from a Wanna-Be-filmmaker or author or someone who has nothing better to do or wants to make money by drawing in subscribers.

It’s Not About Us! It’s About US?

Posted: June 30, 2022 in Uncategorized
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Two kinds of mindsets. Those who want, take. Those who want, work. We all fall into those two categories, no one is spared. I fall into the Want/Work side. There are always sides. True more so for people who say they don’t take sides or invalidate the sides.

Each side holds a list of personal requirements/beliefs that help a person live and move forward. Claiming a side is not how it’s done. No. To know a person’s truth, you have to listen and observe before speaking. Edits or challenges change the path to truth. To correct thought or observation or point of view in a conversation is fruitless. You stop listening and start dictating. A lot of information is missed when you edit a person’s words to fit your criteria.

That is not a conversation. That is a debate.

Now, I will be challenged. And I should. I grew up in a low to middle class family with its share of dysfunction. Our dynamic included lies, trauma, and the struggle to exist in a narrow-minded system. I didn’t know how narrow-minded it was until I matured. I want push back. Tell me what you really think.

I started life on these misunderstandings:

I didn’t know what cancer was or its severity until my mom was diagnosed and died.

I didn’t know what gay was.

I didn’t know about racism, discrimination, and about religious control or how they negatively affected my childhood mind.

Yes. In my point of view and from what I know after 53 years of living and experiencing, these edits to natural existences, tampered with my growth. Rather than excepting nature’s forever existences like homosexuality, interacial interactions on all levels, jewish people don’t have hooves and horns(not my experience, but a revolting taught lie all the same), god hates, god punishes through murder of the innocent rather than the criminal(Passover), and worst of all men rule. I pushed back on that last one at a very early age. I must have been male in my previous life.

I’ll stop here. For us to live in a symbiotic nation, WE must accept who we are and allow everyone to choose who they are so we can focus on how we are treated by those whose power stems from materials and not honor.

Back From Beneath

Posted: June 4, 2022 in ME, Uncategorized
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Hello again. The ground was hard and painful, but I dug through the layers, chilled and burned, cut and scraped. Still, the earth let me go. Lying on my back, catching lost breaths, I’m writing again. It sucks to be lost. Truly lost, not wandering around inside my head, or puzzling out a solution to a present problem. The now escaped me. I tossed my past for answers to this troubling and frustrating dilemma.

Love is not supposed to be a trap. Do you know the tv show ”Catfish? It’s a hit MTV show because people don’t believe that the person they love, doesn’t or can’t love them back. The catfish’s actions are solely based upon the love of themselves.

Even the intelligent get trapped in the mind of person who lives in the world of manipulation. A person whose whole existence is to give themselves the life they deserve. Worse… is the victim who’s made of empathy, compassion, and kindness. Who can recognize deceit and manipulation in others but just can’t see it happening to them.

I watch murder shows. Real investigations shown through police body cameras, street and shop cameras, and interrogation rooms. The act of murder does not draw me to these shows. They’re horrible acts done by evil people. The lies interest me. Murders cry, fabricate stories full details that seen through the senses of a civilian, feel true. You actually feel sorry for them that’s if you don’t know better.

I know better. Now.

Liars have tells. Some are very difficult to detect. Some punch a snort out of your nose.

To be continued. I would love to hear about your experiences with liars.

You Can’t Fool Me!

Posted: March 3, 2022 in Uncategorized
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I don’t believe in luck.

I don’t believe in karma.

I believe in choices.

I believe in perecentages.

I also believe in facts, actions I witness, and evidence.

Whether it be determining a person’s intentions or deceptions, I base my opinions on facts, evidence, and actions.

Everyone born, rich or poor, is faced with a direction and role in society. Eventually, despite the influences of their surroundings , they must take responsibilty for their choices, good or bad, and not make excuses when they make a choice that hurts someone else.

This is why I delay judgement until I have more than enough proof to back my opinion. Even when excuse after excuse are hurled at me, especially when the person in question remains silent allowing others to argue their motives and values, I listen and observe. That’s when I stop pointing out inconsistencies, observations, and past actions that haven’t been owned.

Makes me sad to see imtelligent people Slowly lose their integrity each time they make an excuse for someone whose life and future rely on others to make the life they want to live, possible.

Adam’s Libido, Not Eve’s Curiosity…

Posted: January 26, 2022 in life lessons
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If ”God” wanted people to use sex for the single use of procreation, why then do men constantly think about sex? Their demanding and apparently overwhelming libidos are used to create religions, cults, and laws that supress and subjugate women. Rather than fathers’ teaching their sons respect and equality, they hand down their cowardice and weaknesses. In liu, Women are punished because of male egos and their “uncontrollable” urges.

Oppressing women is a learned trait handed down from father to son, religion to community, culture to family. Men are naturally sensative beings. Like women, men love, honor and protect with the strength of respect. The creation of the machismo identity is man-made. It’s an illusion created by fearful slimy males in places of power to allow for despicable behavior by men, i.e. church leaders, cult leaders, politicians, male-run corporations, dogma, lack of laws protecting women’s rights( right’s not depicted in our national constitution).

Today, women fight for every human right from which men are born. Until corruption from toxic male influences are banished from society for good, women will forever fight for that which is rightfully theirs.

My husband and I have done our part. We raised two strong, independent, affectionate, intellectual, true-to-self thinking daughters and our son who is naturally loving, affectionate, strong and intellectual. We didn’t teach them what to think but how to think. They walk away from drama. They focus on solutions, not problems. They are amazing. I’m a regular mom. Their dad is quirky. If we can raise responsible, empathetic, compassionate, smart, self-thinking, true to self adults… so can anyone. All it takes is accepting your truth and ignoring what others want you to be. Peace!

Choices Are The Big Picture

Posted: January 23, 2022 in Uncategorized
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I paid the price of childhood. Grew from love into an angry, watchful protector who bristled bigger and more dangerous than those who dared to stroll into my circle. Married with children, I alone fought the demons that taunted me in my dreams and in my childhood home. Love was sacrificed for stoic indifference. Affection I gave to those I bore and no one else. A warrior from birth I surged into the fight that was life, baring teeth and exposing claws. No one would get near, not even those I held dear. So, alone and determined I kept safe the three lives I would die for.

Fate is not written in stone or blood. Fate, I believe is the outcome of each and every decision a person makes. It’s not fate that knocked me off the path and tore up my feet and soul as it sent me rolling over rough and jagged grounds. Breaking my will, beating my solitary ways to a pulp, just so I could see what kept me distant from the ones I loved. An unexpected kick in the teeth gave me quite the unique 4d perspective. I examined the thick hyperbaric chamber I’d constructed out of fear and ignorance. I didn’t know that there was more out there. The kind and compassionate they made of most of the world.

Ay first, I felt defeated. Tied to a bed by my own body and mind, I turned further inward away from even those I loved because I’d felt that I betrayed them. My only job…gone. My strength and control ripped out from beneath my feet. That little door between me and mine and the rest of the world, closed.

I sank into darkness.

And everyone I pushed away, reached in and dragged me out!

I’m Confounded. Are You?

Posted: September 11, 2021 in Uncategorized
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Miraculous patches, Animal medicines, Rieki, spiritualism, karma, chakras, reincarnation, god, the power of the human mind. You get it, right? What is true? Hell if I know, but maybe it’s whatever gets us through life without bowing down to paralyzing fear. Wait…is it fear that brings us to these answers? All I know is that I won’t bow to someone else’s answers. You won’t make me believe if I don’t want to. We all do it. Why? We’re all afraid of what will happen if we don’t. Letting go to be true to ourselves and no one else is the scariest leap any of us will ever endeavor to take.

Death. It seeks all of us. Death = Fate. True and tried. It is the last event of our lives, yet, in most cases, there are more mind changing events before it. Being born is one of the first. Some souls end just before or after. That’s their earth fate. (Read between the lines. I believe in reincarnation. The terrifying idea of death is alleviated by the notion that, one day, I’ll choose to return or remain (Wherever) to party with deceased relatives.) My belief stems from family stories and several personal sightings of ghosts. My conclusion—-reincarnation. I haven’t the foggiest idea how seeing ghosts equates to reincarnation, except as a additive I have dreams of deceased people who give me premonitions into the future. Yup. I do.

Now I’m weird? I believe in ghosts (because I’ve seen and heard them). I trust in the power of the human mind, the power of helping healing energy. I also know that absolutes don’t exist, we are not alone, and we all need help at one time or another. Shame stops us for asking for that help. Fear divides us. Those who perpetuate shame by using fear divide and conquer the brave and courageous among us.

I don’t know if what I believe is true. It’s a belief. Everyone has them. Yet, we are divided, attack each other, have created an us or them mentality. It takes one person to divide thousands of people. There’re no real differences that should cause such a break in society. We all want to be safe. So, do what makes us all safe. How difficult is that? You don’t like something—-don’t do it. If there are things you don’t understand, then accept there not for you. You can want things without them hurting others. If it hurts others, maybe you need to rethink what it is you want. Compromise over selfishness. You are not your sister, aunt, neighbor… Not everyone should be an artist, or heart surgeon. Our differences strengthen out community—-country. Who we love is no one else’s business. Everyone has a right without a fight to their own bodies.

I find it amusing that we, as a people, have fallen into a pick-and-choose religious belief. Religions and churches pop up like weeds and people flock to the fields of wild notions. I’m my own goddess, my own beliefs. I am personally responsible for everything I do and every choice I make…good or bad. I don’t always get it right, and sometimes my actions hurt others. That is my shame to bare, my amends I need to make. You are not me. I am not you. So, why do i sometimes take what someone else says, personally?

I wish I knew. I doubt that 100 years of therapy would bring me to that answer. I only know that I’m wrong for judging how someone else feels because of some deep seated resentment or horrible event that escapes my memory. Observing others while keeping my own mind quiet is revealing. I learn more about someone when they don’t know they’re being watched. I learn even more when I listen as they speak to me, or someone else, without interruption. Facial expressions, hand gesture, and natural mannerisms are telling. My own included.

I’m at the point in my life that what I feel during an experience or conversation, whether it is anger or joy, is significant to learning about myself. Isn’t that what matters most? I have enough to do in my own life than worry about someone else’s….even my children. They are adults now. And yes, it is hard to stay quiet when I believe something that differs from their belief. Unfortunately, if you don’t learn from experience… you won’t learn at all. That’s the burden we all must suffer through.

Okay… I’m done. For now. Peace!!!!

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