I paid the price of childhood. Grew from love into an angry, watchful protector who bristled bigger and more dangerous than those who dared to stroll into my circle. Married with children, I alone fought the demons that taunted me in my dreams and in my childhood home. Love was sacrificed for stoic indifference. Affection I gave to those I bore and no one else. A warrior from birth I surged into the fight that was life, baring teeth and exposing claws. No one would get near, not even those I held dear. So, alone and determined I kept safe the three lives I would die for.
Fate is not written in stone or blood. Fate, I believe is the outcome of each and every decision a person makes. It’s not fate that knocked me off the path and tore up my feet and soul as it sent me rolling over rough and jagged grounds. Breaking my will, beating my solitary ways to a pulp, just so I could see what kept me distant from the ones I loved. An unexpected kick in the teeth gave me quite the unique 4d perspective. I examined the thick hyperbaric chamber I’d constructed out of fear and ignorance. I didn’t know that there was more out there. The kind and compassionate they made of most of the world.
Ay first, I felt defeated. Tied to a bed by my own body and mind, I turned further inward away from even those I loved because I’d felt that I betrayed them. My only job…gone. My strength and control ripped out from beneath my feet. That little door between me and mine and the rest of the world, closed.
I sank into darkness.
And everyone I pushed away, reached in and dragged me out!
Mel Evers wonders about it all 