Archive for November, 2018

Something Ugly In Your Eye

Posted: November 30, 2018 in life lessons
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I’m not the only one that sees the vile twinkle in your eye

She doesn’t see it

Blinded by the idea of who you are

Flaunt your past like fashionable attire

A dance of dazzling lies enchants her to the con

Pity is the lure that keeps her attention

I’ve let it go on for too long

That is on me

But now I’m coming for you

I’ll give you the time to get away from her

That’s what I want

Blame me for breaking her heart

that’s okay

Fixing it is part one

Restoring our home as a sanctuary is part two

I know it will take time to undo the toxic spell you’ve groomed into her bones

But that is a Mother’s job and I’ve done it before

Once she is clear of your selfish spree

Forever more the something ugly in your eye

will be me

 

 

 

 

 

 

In This Moment…

Posted: November 25, 2018 in life lessons, ME
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I’m drowning in a sea of other people’s excuses. My nose is above water. I can’t make a sound. My body is moving but I’m not sure if I’m going anywhere because the sky above me changes on its own. If I look down, I will suffocate. Emotional pain has turned physical. My feet cycle around and around and my arms flutter like an injured bird. I try to tread water, but it is pointless. I want to stop. Let go. Drift below the surface with my eyes wide open and I want to scream. That’s not me.

So, what am I to do?

The only way to escape is to let the current take me, to let my body drift until I hit a sand bar where I can rest my overtaxed muscles and more importantly my waning thoughts. I’d lay on my back and stop. Stop thinking. Stop believing I could get on top of it all. Stop the beating of my heart for just a few moments. Hoping that deep pain will subside with it.

The truth is…it will pass and I will wade back into the waves as the small crests grow and the white foam swells and the power of the current sucks me in again. And as always, I will let go and let my body find that place of rest…