I’m drowning in a sea of other people’s excuses. My nose is above water. I can’t make a sound. My body is moving but I’m not sure if I’m going anywhere because the sky above me changes on its own. If I look down, I will suffocate. Emotional pain has turned physical. My feet cycle around and around and my arms flutter like an injured bird. I try to tread water, but it is pointless. I want to stop. Let go. Drift below the surface with my eyes wide open and I want to scream. That’s not me.
So, what am I to do?
The only way to escape is to let the current take me, to let my body drift until I hit a sand bar where I can rest my overtaxed muscles and more importantly my waning thoughts. I’d lay on my back and stop. Stop thinking. Stop believing I could get on top of it all. Stop the beating of my heart for just a few moments. Hoping that deep pain will subside with it.
The truth is…it will pass and I will wade back into the waves as the small crests grow and the white foam swells and the power of the current sucks me in again. And as always, I will let go and let my body find that place of rest…
Mel Evers wonders about it all 