Posts Tagged ‘mind’

Sometimes I turn to pain for comfort, darkness to cleanse and numbness to escape it all. And then I fall.      Panic sets in.        I reach for the closest heart and fall faster.    There’s no room for laughter when tears fall and the life lived fades into the past. Looking forward through a pane of foggy glass.   I capturing glimpses of what could be, at the moment, because a breath changes everything.    His hand. Her shoulder. The innocence of a child. Fury and blood. What does it all mean? He kills. She kills. One a hero. The other a villain. Which is which? Do we know the difference anymore? My life is my reach, my sight, what I hear, who I touch. Not always good. Not perfect. My goal is simple. To make progress.

I think of you… sometimes when I’m lost

Wandering in the haze you created for me so long ago

We’re in the same room, but hearts apart

I believed you… in you

Until you proved me wrong.

Showed me your blood wasn’t strong

I asked you

Eye to eye who are you?

You lied.

I knew that was your reality

But I believed you…in you

Why not?

You said the words I wanted to be true

I thought of you the other day

Feeling sad

Surrounded by love

Two roles not filled

One by choice

The other…

I think of you…sometimes when I’m wandering

In the same room where your heart beats silent

Hoping one day you prove me right

To believe in yourself

Make that your reality

Why not?

It’s better to be surrounded by love

I’m not wrong

Fire, wind, water, earth and us

Coming at you like a natural disaster

You don’t want to fight

You don’t want to know

Living in a day dream while the rest of us face the nightmare

We stand dead center in the chaos and confusion

Roaring for humanity

Bloody fingers cling to justice

Broken dreams washed away by tears

Screaming to be free

We prepare for the war you ignore

You don’t want to fight

You don’t want to know

Living in a day dream while the rest of us face the nightmare

We won’t let us fall back into the void

A place where voices die

Where power resides in the telling of a lie

Truth

Posted: January 23, 2017 in life lessons, Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , ,

I’m not saying that…ugh I do hate saying this… he is not my president. He was elected. I’m saying that what I’ve seen, what I’ve heard and having been personally insulted because of my beliefs by his fans, I am scared shit of what this man is capable of doing. I thank all the women and men from our past who fought for my right to have a voice. I thank the men and women today for keeping us going toward the ultimate goal of being a human being with the same rights as men.
Some white men get it…some don’t. Most women get it… some don’t. I trust my instincts and have the ability and elite skills, to say what I feel without having the need to insult anyone’s beliefs or put down anyone’s personal journey. I don’t need to resort to fake news to help me get through this trying time or to make me feel vindicated about my beliefs and self worth. It takes all of us together a unification of morals to be a strong sound, and well-balanced nation. WE can make sure that, even though we may or may not like him, this country will be successful. The petty stupidity of the senate and congress for decades contributed by both parties, have caused our nation to fall. Their inability to put the United States of America before their personal egos has brought us to where we are today. I’m angry but anger doesn’t make my IQ fall. I want us to succeed no matter who is sitting behind the big desk in the white house. We the people are in charge. If we come together and fight for peace, for our country’s safety, to be kick-ass, force the government to focus on getting people more jobs, feeding our hungry, helping the poor, bring those they’ve forgotten back into our light… our nation will thrive.

The president has decided, on his first day, to strip people of their healthcare benefits. Why? We are talking twenty million people going without healthcare. Republicans want it repealed, but they are the ones who created the Affordable Healthcare Act, best know as Obamacare. He deleted policies on the LGBT and Environment. What does that mean to our friends and family in a same sex marriage? Will he attack their ability to adopt? Will he destroy years of evolving and put us back into the dark ages where men tell everyone how they should act and who they should be and where they are best placed? A person is best revealed by his or her actions.

Religion has NO place in our government. We are made up of many different faiths, including those who do not have a god. One man cannot tell us when, or where we chould pray, or be or act because his god tells him to. We cannot follow any man that believes a persons sexuality is criminal in a response to the unncontrollable matter of nature.

And what about his supporters? Do they not see what he is doing? How is he making us strong by killing people who need medical care? What about his greatest lie..er um statement about jobs? Why wasn’t his first act as …president, to bring his families manufacturers back to the USA and give thousands of people jobs? Is it to difficult? Not profitable? Well welcome to the reason other companies outsource. I thought he was going to make us “great” again.

And yet his first act is to sign the ACA repeal.

I still want to see his tax reports. I haven’t forgotten about that. And no one else should. I see people who hate Obama post horrible things about his leadership. Most of these people live very comfortably. Have enough money to buy private healthcare and are not affected by anything this man promised. They complain, but I truly wonder what it is they are complaining about? Their nice house? Their substantial bank account? Their ability to do whatever they want, within reason?

How do these people rationalize Trump’s blatant lies? He’s on the news saying that everything he said were campaign tactics. Do you know what that means? Nothing he says can be seen as truth. Talk about two-faced, only he shows both, and laughs. I’m terrified. I really am. Not for me though. My life won’t be affected, but I have two daughters and a son who have many more years on this earth and what this mentally ill man does, may affect them.

I will tell you this…If I die anytime soon….The white house is going to get its first malevolent, pissed off poltergeist. My main focus will be to make Trump go bald and delete all his money. Have to hit him where it really hurts.

To know me is to know I don’t take people’s word as truth, I don’t trust easily, I look deep inside to find the sense. If you show me who you really are, I will accept you even though I may not agree, because you trusted me with who you are. I believe a person can be changed with an experience, a quote an act of kindness or hatred. I take into consideration where you came from, how you grew up. I know there is more to what’s being said and have the ability, over time, to put the puzzle pieces in their correct spaces. I know some pieces are hard to face while others become the center of our lives. When people hurt, no matter relation, I hurt. I do my best to follow peace, but get tripped up every so often. I’m not above knee jerk reactions and punish myself far worse than anyone else could. Know one knows my weaknesses better than I do and I use them to inflict the most pain on my conscience. What gets me angry are people lumping me with a group of others based on who I voted for (just an example)without really knowing why. I dislike when people make assumptions based on my ability to love. Helping is a part of who I am …not an ingrained obligation . Through experience, I’ve tempered my eagerness to belong, into a healthy I’m-okay-by-myself, but enjoy the company of others. I love my family. Forgiveness is an ability I exercise often. My friends are a chosen few who get me, my idiosyncrasies and my shortcomings. My children and hubby are my world. And most important…I know that when I forget to take my Lexapro…I become a deranged amazon carrying around a soapbox, screaming at anyone who will listen. LMAO.

I have my beliefs. I think I know what I would do in certain circumstances, but am not 100% sure. No one is. My beliefs do not “Trump” your rights and beliefs. I feel superior to no one. I rarely make promises. Too many interfering variables. In my opinion, the chaos theory is alive and well and a factor no one can control. Pretending to love under the terms of psychological hate is the rudimentary basis of a repressive soul. I don’t know everything. I feel around and hope I get it right. If right ends in whole happiness, I came close. If right ends in the destruction of my initial goal, then I failed to understand and I try again, differently. Forgiveness is key to escape misery. What people say and do represents who they are and has nothing to do with you. We are our own entities fighting for stability, peace and happiness. No ones end game is the same. The belief that what is right for me is right for you is immature and disastrous. To have a solid grasp on your beliefs’, you must take the journey to find yourself. It’s a difficult and bloody road to traverse, but at the end you will be confident, understanding and compassionate to those fearful and refusing to take that first step. I fight. I’m a warrior soul. It’s what I know. It’s who I am. To fight a battle properly, I seek information from both sides of the front line and instead of taking sides, I listen for the truth to speak to me out of the thunder of war. War has three truths. The opposing perceptions and what is truly the cause. That third truth is why the war started. To get both sides to listen, there needs to be a cease-fire, a silence. Sometimes you have to be that silence, that reprieve that cleansing breath. You have to be on the highest mountain looking over the fires and explosions, where breathing is hard and thinking even harder, to really see. To really feel. To Really know what is happening. Otherwise you’re just another screamer, accuser hater, and simply part of the problem. We all have the skills to help. To understand. To be compassionate. It’s a choice.