Posts Tagged ‘thoughts’

I think of you… sometimes when I’m lost

Wandering in the haze you created for me so long ago

We’re in the same room, but hearts apart

I believed you… in you

Until you proved me wrong.

Showed me your blood wasn’t strong

I asked you

Eye to eye who are you?

You lied.

I knew that was your reality

But I believed you…in you

Why not?

You said the words I wanted to be true

I thought of you the other day

Feeling sad

Surrounded by love

Two roles not filled

One by choice

The other…

I think of you…sometimes when I’m wandering

In the same room where your heart beats silent

Hoping one day you prove me right

To believe in yourself

Make that your reality

Why not?

It’s better to be surrounded by love

I’m not wrong

Silver Series Book 1

Posted: March 25, 2017 in life lessons, Novels
Tags: , ,

Unlike most stories you read in novels, living is raw, messy and unpredictable. A lot of people read to escape the chaos, make up for the lack of romance, imagine the fantasy of being a superhero or just to laugh, because it’s the only time they do. Waking Up Vampire, is not like that. It’s sweaty and disappointing at times.. It depicts the life of a woman confused about love and trust. It reveals the blinders of hate and the possibilities that lie beyond. Since the heroine is confused… I write confusion. She is stubborn and angry, so I write her stubborn and angry. Insight is sporadic because she draws it from a fractured past where a lot is given was then taken away. The ideals, we take for granted, like the love of a parent are not clear to her. Her grasp on expected concepts stay in constant emotion like a yo-yo, because of the atmosphere she grew up in. Love, Hate, indifference. Fighting. Never good enough. Black sheep. I write her that way. I want my wonderful readers to feel as well as understand the confusion and internal struggle she deals with every second of her life.
And when I add unconditional love… The vulnerable. The pain. The giving. I want readers to feel her grow. Feel her pain. Feel her need. Because escaping and healing a brutal past is something most of us go through.aunt-melindas-book-final-with-text-10-14-16

It’s personal. DNA supported. Ancestrally complicated. And none of your damn business.

Okay. Ill give you a bit of something to take away from this obnoxious Diddy.

I don’t fear small minded people. Not my problem.

What I do fear cannot be changed by sitting back and eating popcorn.

The only course of action is take the bull by the balls and swing him around a few times.

Vulnerability speaks above bullshit.

Silence. On the outside.

Strategizing on the inside.

If you listen— the answer will come.

When you close your eyes and shut off your ears — don’t be surprised by an ambush.

Be prepared with a genuine smile

Sincerity emboldens

Believing you know more…is debilitating

Pursue happiness by keeping the know-it-all’s snapping the air at your heels

Observe with a shut mouth.

And finally— your path is your own.

You may find yourself on someone else’s path… or not.

If you allow them to pull you….you will fail the greater goal.

Lessons learned through experience stay forever.

False learning is fair weathered

Peace. Love. Respect

 

 

 

The president has decided, on his first day, to strip people of their healthcare benefits. Why? We are talking twenty million people going without healthcare. Republicans want it repealed, but they are the ones who created the Affordable Healthcare Act, best know as Obamacare. He deleted policies on the LGBT and Environment. What does that mean to our friends and family in a same sex marriage? Will he attack their ability to adopt? Will he destroy years of evolving and put us back into the dark ages where men tell everyone how they should act and who they should be and where they are best placed? A person is best revealed by his or her actions.

Religion has NO place in our government. We are made up of many different faiths, including those who do not have a god. One man cannot tell us when, or where we chould pray, or be or act because his god tells him to. We cannot follow any man that believes a persons sexuality is criminal in a response to the unncontrollable matter of nature.

And what about his supporters? Do they not see what he is doing? How is he making us strong by killing people who need medical care? What about his greatest lie..er um statement about jobs? Why wasn’t his first act as …president, to bring his families manufacturers back to the USA and give thousands of people jobs? Is it to difficult? Not profitable? Well welcome to the reason other companies outsource. I thought he was going to make us “great” again.

And yet his first act is to sign the ACA repeal.

I still want to see his tax reports. I haven’t forgotten about that. And no one else should. I see people who hate Obama post horrible things about his leadership. Most of these people live very comfortably. Have enough money to buy private healthcare and are not affected by anything this man promised. They complain, but I truly wonder what it is they are complaining about? Their nice house? Their substantial bank account? Their ability to do whatever they want, within reason?

How do these people rationalize Trump’s blatant lies? He’s on the news saying that everything he said were campaign tactics. Do you know what that means? Nothing he says can be seen as truth. Talk about two-faced, only he shows both, and laughs. I’m terrified. I really am. Not for me though. My life won’t be affected, but I have two daughters and a son who have many more years on this earth and what this mentally ill man does, may affect them.

I will tell you this…If I die anytime soon….The white house is going to get its first malevolent, pissed off poltergeist. My main focus will be to make Trump go bald and delete all his money. Have to hit him where it really hurts.

On this day, I will continue to be who I am, fight for what I believe in, speak my mind, continue to love, pursue peace, protect my family and friends, honor truth and justice, trust and respect only those who have earned it, follow my instincts, have faith in my guides, stand with the weak, oppose bullies, give the warrior inside me free reign, help those in need, denounce all the -isms and religious persecutions, refuse the hate of others, be proud of my diversified community, work hard for all my achievements, follow my dreams, become more spiritually focused, never back down, and stand my ground.
But don’t take my word for it….my actions have always screamed my name.

To know me is to know I don’t take people’s word as truth, I don’t trust easily, I look deep inside to find the sense. If you show me who you really are, I will accept you even though I may not agree, because you trusted me with who you are. I believe a person can be changed with an experience, a quote an act of kindness or hatred. I take into consideration where you came from, how you grew up. I know there is more to what’s being said and have the ability, over time, to put the puzzle pieces in their correct spaces. I know some pieces are hard to face while others become the center of our lives. When people hurt, no matter relation, I hurt. I do my best to follow peace, but get tripped up every so often. I’m not above knee jerk reactions and punish myself far worse than anyone else could. Know one knows my weaknesses better than I do and I use them to inflict the most pain on my conscience. What gets me angry are people lumping me with a group of others based on who I voted for (just an example)without really knowing why. I dislike when people make assumptions based on my ability to love. Helping is a part of who I am …not an ingrained obligation . Through experience, I’ve tempered my eagerness to belong, into a healthy I’m-okay-by-myself, but enjoy the company of others. I love my family. Forgiveness is an ability I exercise often. My friends are a chosen few who get me, my idiosyncrasies and my shortcomings. My children and hubby are my world. And most important…I know that when I forget to take my Lexapro…I become a deranged amazon carrying around a soapbox, screaming at anyone who will listen. LMAO.

I have my beliefs. I think I know what I would do in certain circumstances, but am not 100% sure. No one is. My beliefs do not “Trump” your rights and beliefs. I feel superior to no one. I rarely make promises. Too many interfering variables. In my opinion, the chaos theory is alive and well and a factor no one can control. Pretending to love under the terms of psychological hate is the rudimentary basis of a repressive soul. I don’t know everything. I feel around and hope I get it right. If right ends in whole happiness, I came close. If right ends in the destruction of my initial goal, then I failed to understand and I try again, differently. Forgiveness is key to escape misery. What people say and do represents who they are and has nothing to do with you. We are our own entities fighting for stability, peace and happiness. No ones end game is the same. The belief that what is right for me is right for you is immature and disastrous. To have a solid grasp on your beliefs’, you must take the journey to find yourself. It’s a difficult and bloody road to traverse, but at the end you will be confident, understanding and compassionate to those fearful and refusing to take that first step. I fight. I’m a warrior soul. It’s what I know. It’s who I am. To fight a battle properly, I seek information from both sides of the front line and instead of taking sides, I listen for the truth to speak to me out of the thunder of war. War has three truths. The opposing perceptions and what is truly the cause. That third truth is why the war started. To get both sides to listen, there needs to be a cease-fire, a silence. Sometimes you have to be that silence, that reprieve that cleansing breath. You have to be on the highest mountain looking over the fires and explosions, where breathing is hard and thinking even harder, to really see. To really feel. To Really know what is happening. Otherwise you’re just another screamer, accuser hater, and simply part of the problem. We all have the skills to help. To understand. To be compassionate. It’s a choice.