I vow to be me and continue being grumpy, but only until that first sip of coffee. To be annoyed by slow drivers. To fidget nervously in crowds. To appreciate the unique dynamic of my family. To watch and learn about people so I can be more understanding. Walk in other people’s shoes to gain new perspectives. To only allow me to edit my life. To live like I am the star of my award winning movie. Make decisions by what I know plus what I feel. To promote positive energy my way and not the way others want me to. I vow to continue being happy and confident just by being me. Thank you.
Posts Tagged ‘life’
Resolution? No.
Posted: December 31, 2016 in life lessonsTags: family, health, humanity, learning, life, mind, personal, progress, relationships, religion, self, truth
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Hey? Are You In There?
Posted: December 29, 2016 in UncategorizedTags: faith, family, humanity, learning, life, personal, religion, truth
We have a personal moral code no matter race, culture or religion. Killers kill. Lovers love. Fighters fight. What we do is who we are. Words are significant when followed by action. Actions followed by words are deceptive. The absence of self preservation is an extreme mental disorder. Hate and passion are dangerous when dictated by a source outside your heart/mind. Be aware. Don’t be part of a mindless mob that follows someone else’s beliefs. You’re important. Your heart an…d soul are real. For us to unite as a nation of peace and prosperity, be the individual you are. The universe made you who you are for a reason. To follow another is to turn your back on self awareness. Parents, clergy, police anyone and everyone in authority are human. Don’t discount what you think because others have different opinions. Refuse the waves of hate, bigotry, racism etc. I am a woman. I am a mother. I am a wife. I am an author. I’m a warrior. But first and foremost, I am me.
Less is more
Posted: December 16, 2016 in UncategorizedTags: body, challenges, life, mind, personal, self, spirituality, truth
I live in the past, present, and the future. I learn from what has been, bring it into the now and reference it to pave the way ahead. We all have demons to slay. Some are long dead ghosts. Others are flesh and blood reminders of guilt. In pursuit of personal peace, my choice of weapon is words. Anger killed me slowly. Fear kept me hidden. Guilt moved me backwards. Blame shut me down. What was left, cried.
Cancer spoiled my pity party
Focus fight or die. I’m alive.
Breaking Bad Habits
Posted: November 26, 2016 in UncategorizedTags: body, faith, humanity, learning, life, personal, progress, relationships, self, truth, understanding
What if the only thing between you and happiness, freedom and living is Forgiveness? That “thing” being years and brainwashing thick. Will you attempt to climb over? Or chisel your way through? Most sit, huddled at its base feeling sorry for themselves. Is freedom worth the effort? The acceptance? Understanding? Will acknowledging fault be too much weight to bear? Takes one step–one word–one acknowledgement to begin that journey. What would convince you to start?
I’m Scared!
Posted: October 30, 2016 in UncategorizedTags: baffled, Election, learning, Lies, life, mind, perception, personal, progress, relationships, Trump, truth
Trump has brought out the worst in people. It is depressing to find out the depthless hate that encompasses a mind I thought was peaceful and progressive. I don’t wish violence on anyone. This was not always true. After a long grueling journey to self-awareness and acknowledging my responsibility in personal consequences, I am not one to judge. Many experiences mold a person’s perception of the world. I have done a lot to silence the hate from my past so as not to allow it into my future. It’s not easy. What was easy was to make a knee jerk reaction to my demon’s teeth latching onto my emotions to drive me away from my true self; the self that is untouched by other people’s beliefs. I took a step back to see, hear and learn while keeping the distance of peace and love in my heart. I see posts that crush my hopes and dreams. One man’s selfish desires are destroying our great nation. If he were judged as a woman, people would have called him a slut, a whore and a tease. Not rallied behind him to support his demeaning of women, using and then discarding people, taking advantage of our great nation’s loopholes instead of pointing them out, overlooking trials of criminal deception involving and rape and fraud and soon he will be calling for a revolution not caring how many people will be hurt and destroyed while he sits safely on his golden throne smiling about the chaos he created. Supporters have already mentioned a revolution if he doesn’t win. He calls the voting rigged and yet only Trump supports have been caught trying to vote more than once and are being arrested by not following voting laws. These laws have always existed and I know this because I once took a brochure from someone outside of a school where I was going to vote and was immediately told to throw it out when I entered. These are facts. I know this won’t change how people feel. The anger some feel at the system is too great. The hate of people too great. Maybe I should start posting riots and against Gays. Gay bashing etc. The labeling of gay people as pedophiles. Or the great uproar over priests molesting children and instead of being charged, were moved by the Vatican to molest children elsewhere. Do you think that has stopped? Or the KKK riots, Skin head riots, black church shootings. Our history is full of people thinking they’re better than others. White people lynching black people like they were less human than their murderers.
Our nation’s big bang start occurred after the destruction and theft of Indians and their land. And our founding fathers created a list of laws favoring only wealthy men and adding the lie of freedom of religion.
My last point is…I read posts that have been fabricated to stir blind anger. Photoshop pictures with false headlines and stories that people repost. It’s scary what people want to believe. And yet we have someone who wants to lead us down that road already traveled and littered with the remnants of human rights and dignities. I want to continue forward.
Waking Up Vampire,
Posted: October 16, 2016 in UncategorizedTags: challenges, Childhood, family, Forgiveness, Internal peace, Lesbian, life, paranormal, personal, progress, Published, relationships, spirituality, truth
Luigina Silver’s obsession to eradicate vampires turned her long troubled soul, dark and unforgiving. Michelle, her best friend and lover, knows the good heart beneath the hate and refuses to abandon her the way everyone else Lu ever loved, had.
A simple execution leaves Lu turned into one of the vile creatures she’d been hunting. Unable to come to terms with what she’s become, Lu attempts suicide, only to be stopped by Michelle. To keep Lu in the world of the living, Michelle secretly makes a deal with the agency that employs them both. For Michelle’s plan to succeed, Lu must survive that betrayal, let go of her destructive past and worse, face a reality where vampires are not inherently evil.
As if the odds weren’t already stacked against her, Alexander, a powerful vampire and influential member of the agency, covertly plots Lu’s permanent demise. Will Michelle get the happy ending she’s been fighting for or, in the end will hate defeat Lu, as it has done so many times before?
Just One Person’s Opinions
Posted: October 12, 2016 in UncategorizedTags: learning, life, mind, peace, personal, self, thoughts
What I want in a leader of our country.
1-To keep religious beliefs out of their policies.
We are a nation of eclectic thoughts and beliefs. When a party chooses their beliefs, they discount everyone else’s. They say our country was born under freedom of religion, but that was not true. Despite what religion you were, you were forced or nagged into going to church because that’s what the leaders dictated. All religions try, whether subtle or demanding to recruit as many people as they can. And isn’t it funny that most religions describe women as second class citizens? If given the status we deserved from the beginning, men wouldn’t use terms such as needing championing to describe who we are as human. We don’t need to be coddled we are pretty damn strong. Religions should focus on bringing people together. Protect the children, the weak, the sick, the poor, not focus on stripping half the population of their rights.
Marriage Rights fall under this as well. Attraction is part of nature. Who we are attracted to falls under the realm of the unknown and uncontrollable. Oh and how some people hate that. We have laws that mostly protect children, (I would love for those polygamists who rape children claiming religion as their guide, to be jailed for the rest of their lives. Funny how those children aren’t protected or even come up on any politician’s radar.)
Pence is a perfect example of power undermining religious beliefs. A religious man (whether I respect their views or not) would not continue to back a serial sexual predator.) I do wonder if they made a deal with him about instantly impeaching Trump so Pence becomes president if votes go Trump’s way.
The only object truly separating us from each other is the concept of organized religion. Rules made a long time ago, written down and labeled divine. I do believe in GOD. I don’t believe separation is divine, it is the concoction of early men’s fears.
Abortion…
It’s a woman’s right to her body. Not the dude who knocked her up accidentally. Not the government. Not God’s. Not those people who stand in front of planned parenthood clinics holding signs and who subsequently vanish when it comes time to answer for the baby’s welfare, potential living conditions or if the child will die from abuse or malnutrition. So Back Off.
2- Our economy.
The rich should not be getting richer and the poor should not be getting destitute. The trickle down policy, which has been the policy for many presidents, does not work. http://www.faireconomy.org/trickle_down_economics_four_reasons
Maybe at one time it did, but when those who worked hard become successful grew older and eventually handed their empire over to their heirs, the hard work part deflated and the heirs’ head’s inflated. When you don’t know what it’s like to put your blood and sweat into a job, you expect everything to be handed to you. Not everyone is like this, but we are entering an age of the spoiled. They talk about children today being lazy. (Adding my experience to my opinion equals that showing respect, teaching hard work and responsibilities are the parents’ job.)
3- USA defense
Instill policies that bring our nation together. Don’t give the delusional any reason to act out on their abnormal urges. I’m a mother of three, awesome hardworking children. Yes, I get angry when I go into protective mode. Violence shakes my body and plies my imagination with graphic ways to eliminate the threatening problem. But, I don’t act on them or even show aggression. It’s called control. Most of us have it. Those who act on an initial impulse are mentally unstable. We all must take responsibility for our country despite who is running it. We have the power to protect our own. And the cognitive skills to make wise decisions.
Communication is key.
There are more…but at this point you can fill in the blanks.
Really! Help Me Out Here!!!
Posted: October 10, 2016 in life lessons, UncategorizedTags: challenges, children, humanity, life, personal, progress, spirituality, thoughts, truth
I have a lot of personal experience dealing with a narcissist, racist, paranoid, money hungry man who objectifies women. He is a great liar. If you were to meet him, you would think me and my siblings were crazy for arguing against him being a good guy. Jokes are a way to be himself without committing to his beliefs. My mother didn’t leave him even though he made is job infidelity and self-indulgence. Despite his attempts at bringing down our self-esteem and following his circle of hate, we his children, broke free.
Because of what we endured growing up, we see life in a grander spectrum. We know truth and we know lies. They are easy to differentiate. Twenty-five years of being lied too straight in my eyes gives me that skill.
When I watch Trump’s body language and listen to his speeches I see nothing but a bully who has used his name to abuse and take from others all his life. The man is 70 years old. He is the basic dirty old man who refuses to progress into the modern world where women are not objects for men to ogle and use against their will. Of course we had to make a law against it — obviously not everyone got the memo.
I find it hilarious that people believe that he heard something said as truth when in reality he was the one who said it earlier in the day. People are giving the voices in his head credibility and that alone is scary. How does his nonsense get passed people? Why do people let his atrocities slide? I wonder what happened to them to skew their perception of truth. He is the “poster boy for what not to be” and people want him running our country.
It’s really sad that some people will vote for him because he is the republican party leader. And if Charles Manson were to become a republican candidate some people would vote for him too.
Hillary may not be pristine, but she owns a moral compass and will fight for us as a whole and not divide us as a people as Trump has already begun to do. The fact that he says he has more respect for women and to say the things he says about them, the way he treats them, and how he has disrespected his wives, makes me cringe. If his declaration were in anyway true, we as fifty percent of USA population, are fucked.
Wake up!!!! He doesn’t want to make America Great again. He wants to make America his latest conquest and profit off of us. He talks about righting the wrongs of past presidents and yet he wants to go back to policies that had the middle class struggling and the poor destitute.
He talks about giving the wealthy tax breaks so they offer more jobs, trickle down their profits to help the rest of us? The wealthy have so much money they have rooms for their cars, change their toilet bowls as often as they change toilet paper, wipe their asses on gold quilted hankies, have lunch in Paris and Dinner in Italy and yet I have yet to see them make any difference in the rest of the population’s lives. So don’t tell me his policy is to help the rest of us. That’s plain bullshit. (There are a couple of those wealthy people who do share the wealth, but those are the ones who Trump is not talking about. If he did, he’d have to admit shame.)
I can’t really speak about his other policies since he has yet to say what they are. Does he think if he becomes president Isis will turn tail? Hah. They want him to become president. He will be the perfect poster boy for recruitment!
Did you hear what he said about that city in Syria? A question about being a humanitarian? “What do you think is going to happen if Aleppo falls?” she asked.
Trump responded: “I think Aleppo is a disaster, humanitarian-wise. … I think that it, basically, has fallen.” So basically he said screw them. He doesn’t believe in trying to help all those children being turned into red mist by Russia’s bombing. What a true humanitarian.
All the while trying to divert the question to his own agenda about Clinton as secretary of state making decisions with Obama when she wasn’t even Secretary of state at the time. And people ate up is false diversion geez!
Going to end this for now. Getting a headache just thinking about how easily people are willingly misguided.
Caught Whispers
Posted: September 25, 2016 in UncategorizedTags: awareness, being human, life, love, spirituality
To let “It” Go Or Just Let Go
Posted: August 31, 2016 in UncategorizedTags: awareness, choices, happiness, life, Mental health, peace, spiritual, spirituality
I get angry. I lash out. I make it worse. Who benefits? Certainly not my peace of mind. Nor did I make the target of my explosions, day. So why didn’t I just let it go? What is “it”? You ask? Well, that’s good solid question. Too bad I don’t have a resounding reasonable answer. If I knew what “It” was, I would have just sat myself down and intoxicated my mind with soothing and uplifting words. Rarely when I get angry do I know the source of the heat or who lit the fire, although in reality if I’m angry about what someone did, or said, the true source always lies inside me. This makes thrashing the culprit a bit more difficult to find and then deal with. For a long time, taking it out on the closest person to me may have been the wrong decision in the long run, but it was something I was taught to do. And at times when I let “it” go for too long, the explosion was so immense it sucked in those who could only wobble like weebles wondering “What the hell just happened?”.
And then one day I decided that is not how I wanted to live. I didn’t want other people’s beliefs or lives to influence my own behavior, moods and most importantly, happiness. My parents’ marriage was nothing like mine, and yet, I punished my husband for all the wrong doings of my father. I refused to show any weaknesses that I was brainwashed to believe that love caused. Thus, out of a chaotic childhood, my sharp tongue and explosive temper was forged.
It took just one day to decide? You ask. Yes. The day I completely flipped out on my young kids and at ten o’ clock at night, when they were supposed to be calm and going to sleep. I’d always prided myself on protecting my kids from the caustic crazy world and here I was going on about their unkempt room. I brought crazy and caustic into their home; a place they were supposed to feel safe and comfortable.
No other people could have made me take an emotional step back. It was only when I saw my damage reflected back at me on the sweet faces of my babies that I realized I had to fix what was broken inside me. I cried. I asked for forgiveness. They are my saviors.
Again what was “it’? There were too many incidents from my past that I could acknowledge and yet there’d be no illuminating affect. I could talk about every one of my battles and I would be no less the warrior. In fact, bringing those battles into the present irrationally justified my aggressive behavior….
So I took steps to try and let everything go and keep the past firmly behind me where it belonged. Not an easy task. I always heard about this peace you feel when you finally achieve full forward momentum, but never felt it. The best I could do was lock myself away when I felt threatened or vulnerable knowing that a misplaced word or look would set me off.
And then this happened.
One winter afternoon, after a pretty snow storm, while driving my AWD SUV , my car slid like ice on ice. I panicked, but tried gingerly stepping on the break. Nothing. I wiggled the steering wheel. Nothing. I was going to T-bone a parked green, two door sedan and there was nothing I could do. About, five feet from the collision I stopped thinking and a securing calm (a feeling of pure instinct and trust) overcame my senses. I took my hands off the wheel and lay my palms on my lap and at the same time, took my foot away from the pedals and waited.
About a foot away, my car turned at a ninety-degree angle, to the right and just as it cleared the front of the car, made another and sharp turn and hit a wall of packed snow just inches behind the green car’s bumper.
I finally experienced what all those books and spiritual lecturers preached. I simply stopped fighting what I could not change and just let go.
I’m still practicing letting go and though it’s easier when I’m not being challenged, it’s becoming less difficult when I am conflicted. I’ve taken many steps since my first and I know there are many more in my future. I am okay with that. It simply is.
Mel Evers wonders about it all 