Ever get stuck in a cognitive holding pattern? You don’t want to think, you just want to do? I have. Many times in the last forty-five years, I’ve taken a step sideways from the present and put my movements and responses on autopilot. Usually before or after a possible life changing event I would just stop. Stop thinking linearly, stop communicating with others and get frustrated when people try to converse with me. I’ll go about my day running on muscle memory. I know what have to do, what needs to be done and I do it automatically all the while pondering how to control the new path my life will take. Sometimes it feels like I’ve locked myself in a glass suit. The outside world becomes a gigantic fun house where everywhere you look, you’re faced with that life changing event and there’s no escape until the event is actually upon you.
Solution: I have no idea. The progress I’ve made has to do with timing. I used to start this process many weeks prior to an event. Now I’m down to a day or two. Maybe because I’ve relinquished control over things I can’t change or perhaps I’ve been subdued, forced to face my own humanity and its limits.
I’d love to know your thoughts.
